mY tWEETS

Thursday, June 14, 2007

gURU gHANTAAL........

Finally we reached our farm house( neebukheda )..40 Kms from bhopal..maneuvering my jeep over 15 KMs of kaacchi road ..


my conditions :
stomach : half empty( not half filled)
activities: normal


so, we reached there at 12 : 30 AM with 2 big batoleybaaz villagers ,my cousin,and his friend...

bakar session :


batola 1:" saab mey paani pi riya tha ,taalaab ka,aawwaaz aayi dekha sher bhi paani pee riya tha "
result : digested....some how


batola 2:"saab wo kajri thi na raamlaal ki dulhan , saab , usney paed ki kattai kartey hue je bada aazgar dekha"
result : digested....again.....


whole senario in one line : " TUM MUJHEY BATOLA DO, MAI TUMHEY BATOLEEY DUUNGA"


It was like bouncers of batolaas ....some how digested by me.

And then I realized that in this process of digestion...my food(aalu ki sabzi/daal/roti @ 6 PM ) was also digested ... I can hear..strange sounds from my stomach (put put,,buum) ... saying "calender khaana do".. And I know I need some food Urgently.....but I was late...we dont have food there...


This was the time when my cousins friend, {peeep} (name censored ) ...Offered me GURU pouch..tambaakhuuu.... gutka

{Peeep}:" ye khaa lo bhuuk nahi lageygi....GURU "

FlashBack :
my first hukkha puff.....ahu ahu ahu...
my first ciggetette puff....ahu ahu ahu ahu ahu--> infinity
my first sip.....sorry I dont drink..never!! ( usuaLly my eyes and deeds shows something else, which many of my acquaintances never believes..Once again..(in chorus) I dont drink.. )

Now I have red coloured pouch in my hand...I opened it...poured it in to my mouth (typical bhopali ishtyle) ....and then hmmmmm my mouth was burning....uuuuaaaaa... bitter taste.. but to my surprise I was enjoying it.... ( so L.S...Danish) and seriosly ..hunger was over by now....


Me:bhai 1 aur pouch dena..
{Peeep}: "ye lo yaar 5 pouch, rakho" (he was having 20 pouches)
when I was about to take the fourth pouch..that too with in 20 mins...

{peeep} :" yaar ander toh nahi le rahe na..."


Me :"haan bhai,,,sab ander ja raha hai.." (shit!! I have swallowed it...)

{peeep} :" bhai aapney city ki deewaroon per,taakizoo per laal laal nishaan dekhey hain,ye saab bahar hi jaata hai,issey ander nahi lete..bhai peek do(spit it).......kuch ander mat leena.."

but it was too late....
and rest they say... is history....


At 8 :30 AM (next day)
my conditions :
nausea ,migrane
puked 5 times....
stomach : not responding...
activies : ALt + ctr + del....but still not responding...

_________________________________________________
Now at home..feeling better....
kahani mey twist --
my mom afer washing my jeans......" beta aapki jeans se ye laal pouch nikla...kya naam hai... GURUuuuu" without saying a word... I locked my room...opened my comp...and stared typing this post.... GURU GHANTAAL ...............
THE REAL STORY HAS JUST BEGAN..............................waaaaaaaat lag gayi saloooooon!!!
my heartly advise to everyone : pls dont try this anywhere!!



this is the pouch..................................stay away.......

44 comments:

Garam Bheja Fry said...

hehehe !! aise batoleybaajo se humko bhi milwaao!!! kyu bhaai batole kaise diye kinne rupayo kilo!! :D

dinesh kumar said...

hmmmm .......khali ghar shaitan ka ghar hota hai ye to samajh mein aagaya hai ....waise is post mein sacchai ka kitna percentage hai ??


aur ye pouch bahut appealing lag raha hai issey hata lo nahi to acchey khaase log bhi iski giraft mein aa jayein......


post is nice and has some teachings also as do not take "guru" beyond the mouth.........i.e. in stomach.

dhaval.. down... but not out... said...

90 degree bow to u sirrrr....

y dont u suggest ur blog to WHO ppl... "jann hitt me jaariii"..

wierd but stilll intresting way to send across d msg!!!...

btw my bro also visited ur blog... was way toooo impressed... had asked him to drop in n comment also.... i guess he didnt come on orkut lately... on his behalf... "awesome work dude..keep going"

tcre.. dhaval

Danish siddiqui said...

#garam bheja fry :phir chalo!! neebukheda hamarey saath...
batoley key daam :dijal!! key paisey lageygay bhauji!! gadi average deti hai dus ka... kinney hue...35 rupiij key hisab se...
35 X 4 = bunforty only!!


#dinesh :bilkul 100 pratishat sachaii...aur haan meri kahani sunney key baad koi iski giraft mey nahi aayega..

# dhaval : Man!! this is not a public message!! its a grim experience!! neways...

wait!! what Iam saying..ooh ya...its a message " jan hit mey jaari"...

gr8 that bro visited this blog..say thanx to him...

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